this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
