how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
