The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
