It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
