I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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