They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
