If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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