bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
