guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
