did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I don't want my vagina anymore.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
