Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
