id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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