I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
