what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
