Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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