we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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