No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm like, not good at living.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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