From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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