he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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