Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
