It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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