That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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