Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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