he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
