The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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