I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
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