Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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