This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
We talked him into tasing himself.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
