Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I have surprise drugs for everyone
So squirting runs in the family.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
