Jerry, you need to find god
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
My boob is missing a layer of skin
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
