4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
