Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Randomize
