I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize