You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
