how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Randomize