How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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