you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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