I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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