At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
