College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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