Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
