is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
