We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
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