i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
