what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Terrible idea I love it
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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