I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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