I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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