Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
