turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
