I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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