I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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