just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
