just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I have post one night stand depression
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