So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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