At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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