I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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