So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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